shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
you never un-have a 4some
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize