Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(209): View more from California

just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....

(1-605): View more from South Dakota

i always knew you were classy

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(903): View more from Texas

she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness

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(765): View more from Indiana

well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(513): View more from Ohio

Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.

(478): View more from Georgia

I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.

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(631): View more from New York

So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"

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(210): View more from Texas

If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.

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(602): View more from Arizona

After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.

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(623): View more from Arizona

Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again

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