Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think my fart just growled at me.

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(203): I think my fart just growled at me. http://tfl.nu/gjsq

Replies (7) Good night (1199) Bad night (2314)
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(517): View more from Michigan

i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.

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(517): i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall. http://tfl.nu/lpwz

Replies (14) Good night (4581) Bad night (846)
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(314): View more from Missouri

There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."

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(314): There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run." http://tfl.nu/6vvj

Replies (17) Good night (7179) Bad night (1132)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.

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(604): She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows. http://tfl.nu/2hzy

Replies (8) Good night (1247) Bad night (4097)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face

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(609): Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face http://tfl.nu/s45z

Replies (2) Good night (3472) Bad night (778)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong

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(203): i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong http://tfl.nu/c7ef

Replies (7) Good night (3698) Bad night (924)
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(386): View more from Florida

And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur

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(386): And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur http://tfl.nu/llqd

Replies (8) Good night (5343) Bad night (1510)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it

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(815): Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it http://tfl.nu/8nv8

Replies (16) Good night (2446) Bad night (731)
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(916): View more from California

Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable

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(916): Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/5q9j

Replies (5) Good night (869) Bad night (1263)
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(416): View more from Toronto

But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures

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(416): But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures http://tfl.nu/emrg

Replies (2) Good night (1603) Bad night (487)
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(512): View more from Texas

I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.

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(512): I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited. http://tfl.nu/hhhk

Replies (7) Good night (2314) Bad night (796)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.

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(732): So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury. http://tfl.nu/d7aw

Replies (8) Good night (590) Bad night (990)
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(647): View more from Ontario

didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?

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(647): didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail? http://tfl.nu/zlp7

Replies (11) Good night (523) Bad night (1061)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.

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(423): They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other. http://tfl.nu/yegv

Replies (1) Good night (477) Bad night (271)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.

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(303): Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling. http://tfl.nu/esxc

Replies (1) Good night (618) Bad night (305)

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