Texts From Last Night

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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.

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  (574): I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI. http://tfl.nu/701e
  Replies (19) Good night (3955) Bad night (534)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.

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  (828): Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end. http://tfl.nu/rcny
  Replies (27) Good night (2623) Bad night (5089)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.

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  (678): He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me. http://tfl.nu/j7uh
  Replies (2) Good night (2624) Bad night (734)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  death...100% death...what r u planning.

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  (269): Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip? (313): death...100% death...what r u planning. http://tfl.nu/azwl
  Replies (9) Good night (1358) Bad night (1818)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.

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  (607): Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair. http://tfl.nu/k6ce
  Replies (4) Good night (739) Bad night (982)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.

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  (231): Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess. http://tfl.nu/xzef
  Replies (2) Good night (1158) Bad night (535)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.

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  (505): I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover. http://tfl.nu/48qz
  Replies (3) Good night (1680) Bad night (556)
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  (661): View more from California

  Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.

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  (661): Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head. http://tfl.nu/dct5
  Replies (12) Good night (3357) Bad night (860)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.

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  (503): You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks. (503): Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks. http://tfl.nu/twir
  Replies (2) Good night (660) Bad night (369)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?

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  (850): Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes? http://tfl.nu/yaod
  Replies (2) Good night (969) Bad night (383)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.

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  (215): It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater. http://tfl.nu/563x
  Replies (5) Good night (451) Bad night (1406)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.

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  (989): I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus. http://tfl.nu/jo2t
  Replies (2) Good night (815) Bad night (303)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,

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  (970): my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off, http://tfl.nu/5tu5
  Replies (3) Good night (633) Bad night (348)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night

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  (315): I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night http://tfl.nu/e9r3
  Replies (1) Good night (353) Bad night (494)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF

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  (207): It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF http://tfl.nu/i5py
  Replies (3) Good night (290) Bad night (406)

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