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I puked a lego.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We have so much sex to catch up on
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
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