i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?