The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
