i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
