Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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