My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
