They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize