Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize