Me too!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize