So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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