im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
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I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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