I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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