did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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