So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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