Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
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Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I will pee on everything he values.
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Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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