he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
