Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
