one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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