You just made me feel so damn special
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
