He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
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I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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