Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
