My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
