it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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