i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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