Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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