he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
