I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
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is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
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the liver wants what the liver wants
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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