youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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