its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
