Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.