Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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