did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day