lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?