she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize