sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
