all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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