you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
