dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
