"it" just moved
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.