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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.

  (376): View more from

  you are insane

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (650): View more from California

  in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?

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• (914): View more from New York

  I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.

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• (925): View more from California

  she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  ...oh my god that's like anal suicide

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.

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