I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
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in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
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the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.