The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.