you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize