Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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