If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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