I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
