two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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