I heard we made out
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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