i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
