and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
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It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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