those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
