I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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