My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
