I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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