man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
