HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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