I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
