he wants to bone in the snuggie
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
