i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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