My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
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I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
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i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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