Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
