is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
