Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
