Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
