Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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